Saturday, January 23, 2010

Stereotypes that are true?

I am tired.

I am so tired, that my eyes have started having minds of their own.

When I'm trying to focus on something, like, say, the computer screen right now, every so often one of them will sort of float or veer off to the side because it gets tired.

Perhaps this means it's time for a new prescription...

Or perhaps it means that I am sorely indebted when it comes to sleep.

I'm going to go with the sleep debt because I can't afford new glasses right now and just leave well enough alone. I don't feel I'm dangerous as a driver at present - I mean, I can read all the road signs in a timely fashion and haven't had any near accidents that were really my fault in the last few months...

ANYWAY...

Today I started my period.

For many of you this is probably completely TMI. For those of you not well versed in internet speak, TMI: too much information. Perhaps this is so, but this is a feminist blog, after all, in it's way, and I think that if feminist artists in the seventies could lock themselves in glass boxes in all white clothing while "on the rag" sans sanitary napkins, then I can write about it in my blog and not feel too weird.

The fact is, I'm not really sure why we find it so weird or gross or whatever. It happens to every woman in the world - I mean, as far as I know - at some point, unless something is wrong mechanically or parts are missing or whatever. Sometimes it's erratic, and sometimes it's right on time, and sometimes it's inopportune and sometimes it's opportunistic, but it happens to all of us, great and small - from the mega pop superstar to the milk maid. This is something that we should probably be able to talk about.

And yet it IS taboo, isn't it? Maybe this is because of the whole Old Testament Biblical deal where it talks about how women are "unclean" while they're on the rag. You know, that is cool with me. If I'm unclean, that means I get to hang out in my room all day curled up in a little ball dealing with my cramping all by myself without embarrassment. I get to sleep all day and no one can tell me to get my butt up and throw in a load of laundry because I am unclean and you know unclean people doing laundry would just be seriously wrong. I think that God made this law for these reasons. He knew that periods would suck. I mean, it's written there in Eve's curse. I gotta believe that the whole "pain in childbirth" thing has got something to do with periods too - that's how we know we're capable of having kids, right? So that's when it all begins. So since God knew all about that junky part, he said - you know what? Women need this break once a month. They need an excuse, because people are going to be treating them crappy - like possessions and whatnot, so this is a good time, a good excuse, and NO ONE is going to ask questions, because men won't want to know anything about what is going on - blood and "down there" is going to be enough for them. So unclean works out for the woman.

I am not speaking as a scholar here. Maybe the unclean chick had to do all the stuff that she did before, cleaning and cooking and all that other stuff, just not have sex - that's what's REALLY spelled out - no sex on the rag. Messy business. But somehow I feel like women on the rag were sort of like lepers. I say, ROCK ON.

Today I wanted to take a bath. And sleep. And eat Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips and a King Sized Snickers Bar and listen to mellow music and drink tea. I really wanted a full body massage and to hang around the house all day wrapped in a fleece blanket in a ball on the couch wearing sweat pants and a hoodie with a bottle of Advil in one hand and my warm mug of tea in the other and I wanted the kids to be quiet and my husband to rub my feet.

I have heard people talk about the stereotypes of women on their periods. The chocolate eating. I am here to confirm this. I have researched, first of all, that our bodies actually NEED more chocolate stuffs during this time of the month, so I say, indulge! We also need more salt, due to the blood loss deal. Hence the chips.

Yesterday, my daugther was eating pretzel sticks and dipping them into Hershey's Chocolate Syrup. My husband commented that she was "such a girl". Normally I might be offended at such a statement. But in this case, no way.

I must say, the rumors are true. The way to a girl's heart is through chocolate, my friends. Chocolate and potato chips. Oh, and it doesn't just have to be one time a month for 2 - 8 days. I'll take a gift of chocolate and salty snacks pretty much any time.

2 comments:

CD2 said...

I will TMI with :-) Guess we're on the same cycle. I too, would proudly wear a big fat "UNCLEAN" sign, if could hibernate. LOL with the pretzels...I dip the BUTTERSNAPS (sooooo goooood!) into chocolate icing. In a pinch, I have put chocolate chips on top and microwaved for a few seconds!

Missy said...

You're so welcome!

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